death

So a really good friend of mine passed away recently as in last monday i think it was. He was only 17, and an amazing person he could always make you laugh and i miss his smile so much.. he made a dumb choice and in return it took his life.. i just want to say that i know there is a God and im at lost for the reason why you take such a good people from this world he was only 17!! he hadnt had a chance to live yet... even though that is all he did was "live my life to the fullest" his words and i just freakin miss him so much.. i cried so hard at the funeral and i didnt even reconigze the boy layin in that casket it didnt look like the kid i kissed this past snow storm or the friend i hung out with and he got his foot stuck in a fake bulls butt i miss him and i am mad at him for doing what he did and making the choices he did.. well i just had to leave a good tribut about this amazing person which doesnt even do him justice.. to how absolutly amazing he was goodbye mark i miss you and i .. love you.. R.I.P

blahh

so last friday my school had our homecoming and i was selected princess out of my class which even though i thought it was amazing, i was totally pointless to buy a $260.00 dollar dress to wear for an hour.. but i loved ever moment of it.. i'll post some pictures when i get them on here but for now the twin baby boys are keeping what free time i have busy. everything nowadays is so busy i bearly have time to breath it feels like.

no voice to speakk...

i've no voice to speak with juss a silent mummer in the wind the thoughts and dreams die on my lips and i see my heart fall as it slips.. i no longer know left from right nor do i know if i shall sleep tonight.. i'll lie awake and think of you until my visions are subdued by the silent dreams that haunt me.. when the rising sun awakens me i hear the same sad slow beat the beat of my heart as it echos me. slow and sad.... slow and sad.. when i stagger to the edge of the desk i feel the deep presure growing in my chest.. im sorry for what i've done. the saddnes in me has finally won.

school

Hey i know i havent blogged in a while i've been really busy in school with cheering and what not. I should have a new poem on with in the next few days if i can find some inspiration.. good luck to me!

writers bock

so i was getting on here to write another poem and i realized i have writers block :( i havent has inspriation lately or anything of the sort... it kinda sucks because i enjoy writing so much..

im lost..

so today i found out a boy i had like for a very long time is datin someone else, but the thing is he would never date me and we have been bestfriends forever... i dont know what is wrong with me that he would choose her over me... i juss dont know how to deal with things like that.. i wanted to cry but i cant cry because truthfully he juss drug me threw the dirt over and over again with him liking me only when i was dating someone.. it juss doesnt make sense i dont know if i will ever really be happy because someone said to me that im not going to be happy because i dont know what i want and it made me realize i dont know what i want i dont know what really even makes me happy.. am i broken? is there something wrong with me that makes me push everyone away once they start to get close to me? will i ever really be happy i juss dont know anymore.. any advise anyone?