Sunday, January 2, 2011

im lost..

so today i found out a boy i had like for a very long time is datin someone else, but the thing is he would never date me and we have been bestfriends forever... i dont know what is wrong with me that he would choose her over me... i juss dont know how to deal with things like that.. i wanted to cry but i cant cry because truthfully he juss drug me threw the dirt over and over again with him liking me only when i was dating someone.. it juss doesnt make sense i dont know if i will ever really be happy because someone said to me that im not going to be happy because i dont know what i want and it made me realize i dont know what i want i dont know what really even makes me happy.. am i broken? is there something wrong with me that makes me push everyone away once they start to get close to me? will i ever really be happy i juss dont know anymore.. any advise anyone?
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7 comments:

  1. Mr. GargusJanuary 3, 2011 at 12:11 AM

    I've heard of this. Dr. Drew talks about it all the time. It's called a love addiction/love avoidance cycle. What happens is you go for the unavailable guy. But when he is available for a relationship, then you feel he is too clingy, and you want out of the relationship. Does this sound right? I'm not really an expert on this stuff, its just it seems the situation fits.

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  2. jayanara (:January 3, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    that is completly a hundred percent right.

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  3. Mr. GargusJanuary 3, 2011 at 12:31 PM

    Is this guy is kind of an @#!*% hole too?

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  4. Mr. GargusJanuary 3, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I had suspicions you would have these types of problems. Not that there is anything wrong with you. Its just that these kinds of things tends to happen when people have issues with their dad that is similar to your situation. Just know that none of this is your fault, and if you need to talk about anything, feel free to text me. I usually have Yahoo open in another tab while I am working.

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  5. jayanara (:January 3, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    this guy isn't an asshole and he is my friend has been since 6th grade i've always liked him its juss somthing is wrong with me so i dont really know why he doesnt want me... i talk to him i honesty believe at one point i've loved him and wanted to say it but couldnt find the words to say and yes my parents spliting up does make me doubt weddings and if love is even real but im a hopeless romantic type that really wants to believe its real.. oh well

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  6. Mr. GargusJanuary 3, 2011 at 2:26 PM

    Ok, I see. Well there is nothing wrong with you. You're going to get married someday, you just need to work at it. And trust me, love is real.

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  7. Mr. GargusJanuary 3, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    When are you gonna post more poems?

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